We Keep On Waiting...Waiting On the World to Change

Georgia's Birth Saga
Installment II

Okay, so the lights go out and me and my trusty 2 man birth team try to wind down. At the same time the intensity and frequency of my contractions goes up. They eventually got to where they were less than a minute apart. The pain from one would just begin to ease a little and before it was over another one would come. I was "coupling" my contractions.  For me the pain was in my extreme lower abdominal region, toward the spot where your legs-attach-groin-area.  It can best be described as a hot knife stabbing like pain combined with the cramping feeling you get if you have been holding in a poop for WAY too long. Sounds fun,huh?  I didn't want to get an epidural too soon and expose little G-Nizzle to drugs during a prolonged labor, because I was worried she would be groggy and a poor eater if I did.  So I was putting that option off for awhile. 
The harder the contractions got, I constantly wanted to change positions. Roll over on my side, sit up on the side of the bed, the head of the bed sucks I want to lay at the foot, put a pillow under my hip, move that pillow, I want to stand and sway, I want to lay back down. It was constant. I latched on to this washrag that found its way to me and I would shove my face into it with every contraction while my inner dialogue was screaming "Make the world go away..."  Also, I really really really wanted a catheter. Weird I know, but I was having what I would imagine to be bladder spasms. I felt like I needed to pee so bad and the contractions wouldn't let me relax long enough to let it go.  Josh and Caleigh journeyed me to the bathroom between contractions which felt like it was 2 miles away. I finally got there and it took for-ev-ver but I peed and was so darn happy about it. Josh exclaimed "She peed!" and Caleigh cheered.  During the bathroom trip I had 2 visitors. One was a very motherly nurse I work with who wanted to check on me. She saw my life was sucking and immediatly started trying to pin down the whereabouts of anesthesia, she knew this girl needed an epidural. Her name is Cindy and I love her for that.  The other visitor, came into the room without knocking (which ummm, I don't think is a good policy for any labor room) I started yelling "No! No! No!" and the visitor promptly left.  I think this was my most I'm-in-labor-and-I'm-crazy moment.

 
After I was back in bed from the bathroom, my nurse Amanda checked me again. I was 3 cm. I was sad about it too. I just knew these bitch contractions were making more progress than that. She asked me if I wanted my epidural yet and I told her no but I didn't mean it. I wanted it bad but I also wanted to be more dilated.  She told me that my contractions were really close together and she thought I should go ahead with it. I told her no again and she understood. She also reminded me that after I did say yes to the epidural I would have to have a fluid bolus that would take an hour, and it would be around another hour after that before I would get any relief. Son of a bitch. (You can cuss when you're in labor)  I rode out the monster waves of contractions just a little while longer and then threw in the towel. Give me the juice! 
It was a very busy night in the women's center that night. My nurse Amanda was in a delivery and couldn't come start my fluid bolus. My other nurse-friend, Danelle, came and started it. I could tell she was having a hectic night and that it was a stretch for her to stop what she was doing to come start my fluids. Bless her heart, I gave her a piece of fudge that another nurse had left for me and told her I love her forever. Labor makes you very grateful.  Well by the time my fluids had infused and I could have my epidural, another gal was getting hers. So I had to wait my turn. A second bag of fluids infused before my superhero Rick CRNA showed up. So by this time it had been two hours since I thought I couldn't take it anymore. A woman's body is an amazing thing! 
Before I started this labor thing, I wanted to make sure my breath didn't stink and that I wasn't making sex sounding noises during contractions. I was failing at both. My best friend forever Caleigh swears that I handled my contractions well and didn't act a fool, but I'm not sure I believe her. When Rick came in, Caleigh and Josh had to go to the waiting room. Sweet Amanda held me while I hunched over for Rick. If you know Amanda, you know she smells like a freshly powdered baby's bottom. She has the best eau de laundry scent EVER. I kept telling her thank you for smelling so wonderful and apologizing for my rank breath that I knew I was blowing all over her with every contraction. She told me to shut up, don't worry about it.

Me and the love of my labor life Rick

Does it hurt getting an epidural? Who cares?!  My advice would be to wait until you think you are about to die before you get one because then you don't give a rip.  Ole Rick could have walked in and threw the epidural at my back like a dart and I still would have wanted to kiss him on the butt for his generosity.  Super long needle to the spine, no sweat.
After the best thing since sliced bread epidural was in and I was laying back down I got the catheter I had been asking for. I loved it and would have kept it for a week. No peeing! Amanda checked me and I had progressed to a 6. Hallelujah!!!  Josh and Caleigh came back in the room to find the sex sound moaning wash cloth eating Courtney gone and a smiling, cheerful Courtney in her place. I told Josh to let all my spectators in the waiting room to come in and visit. Which I would have wanted them all to burn in a fiery hell if they would have came in my room 45 minutes before that.
I felt great, the contractions were totally nonexistent on my pain scale. Now that's the way to do it. If you are knocked up or will be someday: Don't be a chump, get the epidural. There is no gold star, certificate, or medal you are awarded at the end for hurting more than you have to. In the end you get the same prize as the woman who had an epidural, a baby. DO IT. If my epidural were a man I would have ditched Josh and married it. Epidural, epidural, epidural.
So that's where I will sign off. Very comfortable, blissful, anxiety free, catheter loving.

Peace. Love. EPIDURAL.

Waiting On The World to Change

Georgia's Birth Saga
Installment I

The night before my last prenatal appointment I needed a bath. It had become a major ordeal to bathe. I couldn't wash my hair in the bathtub and I couldn't shave my legs in the shower. I felt compelled to shave my legs that night, my swollen legs. I looked like a synchronized swimmer choreographing a routine in 4 inches of bath water. But I guess I had a feeling G was coming soon. That day I had a pedicure and gotten baby feet painted on my toenails. Dr John had taken me off of work the week before because my blood pressure had been high, and I was spilling some protein in my urine. I was so swollen.
The next morning Josh's sister Abi drove me to my prenatal appointment at the insistence of her mom. She didn't think I should go alone even though I felt like I could. Josh was at work so other wise I would have been by myself. We got there and the nurse called me back and checked my blood pressure, it was high. There was protein in my urine again. My pitting edema had move up from my feet further into my legs. My cervix was not opened either. I was really hoping Dr John wouldn't tell me that I needed to me induced. I was certain induction meant a horrible drawn out labor on a pitocin drip. I was also worried that if Georgia was born at 38 weeks she would be small and maybe have trouble nursing, or worse need oxygen and IVs. The nurse had me get dressed after my cervix was checked and go into the ultrasound room, I made a quick detour to the waiting room to have Abi come to the ultrasound with me. Georgia measured 6 lbs 2 oz on ultrasound, which is a give or take estimation. My doctor told me that he could send me home on bed rest but that we would be prolonging the inevitable and putting me at risk for all the nasty things that high blood pressure can do to a pregnant woman. He reminded me of them, and he reminded me that I would be home by myself since Josh was at work. He wanted to induce me. I asked if I could go home first instead of straight to the hospital. He told me I could. I wanted to get all my bags that I had left at home.
On the way home I text some friends and asked them to say prayer for us. I was so worried Georgia would be small and a weak eater or worse have some immature lungs.  I tried to call Josh at work and he wasn't able to hear his phone because he was driving the forklift. I sent a text his tool pusher and told him to have Josh call me ASAP. His tool pusher found Josh's cousin/co-worker/life long sidekick Carl first and told him I was trying to reach Josh. Josh said Carl came running at his forklift yelling "Call your wife! Call your wife"  I would have paid money to see it.  When Josh finally called me we were in an area of sketchy cell phone service so we pulled over in the local strip club parking lot and I told him he would be a Dad tomorrow. He would only be allowed 3 days off of work so I told him to finish his shift for the day before he came to the hospital which would be about a 3 hour drive.  It was hard for him, but Josh stayed at work for the rest of the day.
Once I made it home, I walked in my house and picked up my furbaby Talulah and cried and cried.  Her little world was changing forever and she had no idea. I felt so bad for the little ratfink. Before we left the house I had Abi take one last chalkboard picture of my fat swollen self.

 

When I got to the hospital I had labs drawn, my IV was started and heplocked (no icky pitocin infusing!)I was hooked up to the monitors and was surprised to see that I was already having contractions that I couldn't feel! Maybe I wouldn't have a horrible torturous induction after all! Dr John came over and inserted a vaginal cyctotec to hopefully get things moving.  He told me to wait an hour and then begin walking the halls in 10 minute increments resting in between so my blood pressure wouldn't jump up.  Abi and I walked the halls several times while I was anxiously waiting to find out the results of my lab work, specifically my platelet count. When my labs came back I was happy and very, very relieved to hear that my platelets were high enough for an epidural-barely but good enough! On one of my laps through the hospital I stopped at the gift shop and bought a few things. I got Josh a hat that said "New Dad" on it and some pink "It's a Girl!" bracelets to hand out to everyone who would be in the waiting room during my labor.  My doctor checked my cervix again-no change and inserted another cytotec.

One last belly shot! I made G and I fancy matching gowns. Can't be looking like a trick when you meet your daughter.

 

 

As the evening rolled around my mom and dad arrived and took a turn walking me through the halls. The night shift nurses took over.  I am so fortunate to work with the absolute best group of women on the planet who happen to be amazing nurses. My friend Amanda took me on as her patient. For awhile I had been asking God for a certain nurse to be able to be Georgia's nursery nurse and she was working that night! Curly headed sweet Amelia would take care of my baby, I was so happy! Georgia's godmommy and 1/2 of my birth team busted through my room door wearing her godmother cape after finishing up with work for the day.  Josh's mom and stepdad drove in from Nashville.  Not long after that my Josh made it! I was so happy to see my husband and baby daddy, it was very comforting. But the moment was short lived as my mother in law nominated josh to go to the parking lot to meet his dad and show him where our room was.  As soon as Josh got back I made it clear he was not to leave me again for any reason. If proverbially I were a thumb sucker, he would proverbially be my security blanket.

Dr John came back to see me and checked my cervix.  I had only progressed to 2 cm.  Which was disappointing but he was able to break my water. I was really worried it would hurt but it didn't! By that time my contractions had become pretty regular and I decided I wanted everyone to leave the room so I could rest before I really started hurting. Our family understood and they all went to the waiting room.  Well Josh's dad must have been in the bathroom and missed the memo to head on out. He pulled up a chair directly in front of me at the foot of my bed and kicked back like he was at the theater and I was the headliner. If you know Scottie, you know this is so him. He's a nut. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say "Hey get out" and I knew one person who would be able to get the message across to him. So I sent a text message to Scottie's ex wife and my mother in law, Trish to please get Scottie in the waiting room with everyone else.  Less than 30 seconds later Abi was ushering ole Scottie out. I love him dearly but as any woman who has ever experienced labor would understand, I wanted some downtime. There is no such downtime when Scottie is around!

 

Lights dimmed, time to try to rest.

 

 

Peace. Love. To be continued...