When I had my daughter Georgia, I made the decision to breastfeed. It has been one of the hardest, yet the single most rewarding experience of my life. When we were first starting off on our journey, I prayed she would take to the breast. I have spent my entire 7 year nursing career in women's health and have many times heard mothers say "I couldn't breastfeed" I didn't want that to be me, for whatever reason. So I gave breast feeding my best shot and we were successful. In preparation for my maternity leave coming to an end, we introduced pumped milk in a bottle to Georgia. She did fine with the bottles, and her dad was able to feed her. Then when she was 11 weeks old, with no rhyme or reason, Georgia stopped taking a bottle.
What? This was never on my radar. I hoped we would have a strong nursing relationship, but I never dreamed she wouldn't take a bottle while I went to work. We tried every bottle manufactured, every technique, every trick in the book. It made Georgia hysterical. I went to my first shift post motherhood at work and cried the whole way there because I knew my baby wouldn't eat while I was gone. Georgia and her dad had a horrible night. She would suck on his arm, his shirt, her hand, but not drink from a bottle. She cried and screamed, devastated and hungry. It left my husband heartbroken and in tears. She went hours and hours without eating until I got home and was able to nurse her
That's my story. In the end I quit my job, stayed home and nursed Georgia.
What if quitting your job wasn't an option, then what would you have done? Got a different job, nursed Georgia on my breaks and lunch. Anything to keep my baby fed. Work from home, get a job that I'm overqualified for, whatever it took. Quitting my job was a sacrifice. I'm thankful I was in the position to stay home, but it isn't a fairy tale. It drained our savings account, dreams of a different home have been pushed back years on our family's calendar, just to touch the tip of the iceberg.
If she gets hungry enough, she will take a bottle. Not true. You should never make mealtime a battle anyway. Starving a baby into submission is not a healthy behavior modification tool. It's torture actually. Babies do not have logic. When you say a baby can reason to think "if I don't take this bottle, I'll go hungry" you are assigning far more mature skills than an infant possesses. My Aunt Judy has been raising babies for 50 years, I left Georgia with her to see if she would take a bottle from her. She called me "you get back here and feed this baby, I've never seen anything like this." Sadly, because bottle feeding is the norm and breastfeeding is foreign to most of her generation.
I would also like to say, I was made to feel like I was nuts when I told some people Georgia wouldn't drink from a bottle. If a mother says "I couldn't breastfeed" it is widely accepted. If a mother says "I can't bottle feed" she is questioned. Breastfeeding is the most natural, perfect form of nutrition for babies. Primal instinct. If Georgia preferred breast over bottle, it's not a problem to be solved or an error to be corrected. Just because you've never had this situation, or never heard of such before doesn't mean it isn't a legitimate issue.
Put yourself in the baby's shoes. We have to be a voice when they don't have one. No one is saying a father shouldn't have rights or visits, but that a baby should be able to be nursed during those visits.
Because if Landry's father's family truly loves, cares for, and wants what is best for Landry they will want her nursed at their visits. If not, the visits are going to be less than enjoyable for everyone, especially Landry, who is the one who will suffer the greatest when she is the most innocent.
